Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Smoke If You've Got 'em

In some strange way I am ideally suited to talk about marijuana. The reason is simple, other than alcohol, I have never done drugs of any kind. Now that may seem like it doesn’t make much sense, but bear with me.

Anyone who has ever put forth the notion of legalizing marijuana is instantly marginalized and characterized as a self-serving slacker. I however, can look at the situation objectively and without stereotypes fogging up the lens.

I have come to detest politicians and their lack of conviction. They need to placate an electoral base and they adjudicate according to the squeamish qualms of the masses. So right off the bat let us agree on this...a government should not interfere with the quiet enjoyment of its adult population.

If you are a law abiding, taxpaying citizen who likes to augment your state of mind by picking up a bottle of wine or a case of beer then the government leaves you be. However, if you would like to smoke marijuana then you have to go to your buddy the drug dealer to get your fix and if the police catch you...hello criminal record.

Now exactly what are the differences? Well the web is full of stats that talk about THC and alcoholism and you can Google to your heart’s content. However, my opinion is stat free and instead based on being unaltered around both the intoxicated and the medicated and I say alcohol is worse by far.

The violence alone associated with booze swings my opinion wildly. You put 20 people in a room drinking vs 20 people in the room smoking dope and I will guarantee the worse that will happen in the latter room is obnoxious laughter and a cheesie fight. The worse that can happen in the former room? Arrests aplenty based on a few homicides.

On a side note, have you ever heard someone say they are a dick when they are drunk? Truth is that person is a dick in real life. They just control and hide it better when they are sober and have their faculties. Give that person booze and they lose their inhibitions and out comes Super Dick. Followed by his gf saying stupid shit like “he only gets like this when he drinks rye” or some such crap. Problem with that logic is when they drink beer you realize “wow beer makes him a dick too”. Nope, just a plain ol’ dick hiding it better when he’s sober.

Dicks that smoke-up are docile buggers. Even the extreme chronic user might not be the biggest go getters but who the hell do they hurt? Who am I to say get on board with the mores and customs of this ridiculous made up game called life? There is no need to get your panties in a twist over bed head and a soft midsection. The ones who smoke less veraciously are actually nice amicable people who don’t have to worry about pounding headaches from a hangover the next day.

As far as a "gateway drug" I find that argument offensive. Alcohol is also a drug yet no one makes this argument... because it’s ridiculous. It’s like saying people can’t date a sibling of a small child because you’ll end up screwing them both. Cocaine is not marijuana and cocaine is not beer.

Marijuana is a drug they give people as actual medicine to aid in their recovery. Not like morphine/heroine when then end is neigh. The only time you see a doc giving a swig of booze to a patient is when he’s about to saw off their arm in the 1800’s. Those are far different methodologies my friends.

Have you ever heard of someone over dosing on pot? Neither have I...and it’s not addictive like that Tim Hortons you squeeze onto with Gollum like zest. Think too of the money expended policing and incarcerating this harmless lot and it’s head scratchingly annoying.

There is one overriding reason I haven’t smoked weed or done drugs of any kind thus far and it’s because I don’t want a drug dealer in my life. Not crazy about my delicate features being passed about in a prison either.

You let me buy it from a LCBO ensuring there is no rat feces in it and I will gladly spark up. Hell maybe we all should. We’d boost the economy by loading the coffers with delicious taxes and without all of these pesky bottles to recycle.

See you next week Top of the Food Chain!

- Life is complicated and far from perfect, but it is still great

6 comments:

  1. You're points are very true! You made me laugh.
    Good work...once again.

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  2. Great piece, bru. I truly hope this helps open up people's eyes so they no longer judge marijuana to be so harmful. We've all been taught this, but it is blogs and conversations that will help educate people. Us drinkers on our high horse need a check up.

    I urge anyone reading this to do their own research on why marijuana and hemp are illegal in the first place. You may be surprised to know that it was big business in the US some 70 years ago that lobbied against it. Hemp (no psychoactive like marijuana, but still in the same family) can be used for paper, fiberboard, clothing, and ethanol, just to name a few. This would drastically cut down on our deforestation and our reliance on big oil. It also grows faster and can actually help the soil, versus deforestaton that ruins it. It was the lobbying and massive wealth of these capitalists that campaigned against marijuana, citing that it made people violent and crazy (something we all know is not true).

    If anyone is interested, google "the real reason hemp is illegal" and look at the second article by the venus project (won't let me paste a link here).

    Let's hope that a combination of Kev's arguments and the flawed reasons for making it illegal will one day convince our politicians that these should be legalized. And for anyone interested, Ron Paul, Dennis Kucinich and Barney Frank are co-sponsoring a bill (HR 1009) in the house right now to legalize hemp (not marijuana, but it's a great start).

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  3. this one is priceless Kinger...

    "Gollum-like zest" and the bit about sawing off limbs in the 1800's are particularily hilarious.

    the people who get most upset at the idea of legalization are the ones with no mind for change or forward-thinking (for the most part, these are the same people who are anti-abortion and still want church in schools). it's not as though the gov't would just say "okay, you're all allowed to get high now....off you go!" and people would be running amok, clamouring over eachother for the last bag of Funions and getting the Cartoon Network in HD. it's not as though anyone is suggesting that we be allowed to use where and when we want. you'd have to think that especially in Canada (and specifically here in Ontario) the gov't would regulate the shit of it and sale and consumption would be handled the way we do booze. they're not going to be selling it with cigarettes people. you'll need to be of age, and I'm sure the personal use laws would be strictly enforced (well....as strictly as they manage the drunks).

    of course the legal weed will be shit, and WAAAY too expensive, but c'est la vie kids. you want to get high, right? well, it's gonna cost you! it is for this reason, of course, that you will never completely eiminate the criminal element from marijuana. there will always be guys growing at home, but god bless those little horticuturalists (they're the only reason we can even get any half-decent bud in the first place), but after a while people would stop competing with the over-the-counter product all together (really...how many people do you know who are still making moonshine?). I feel like a few less teenagers getting stomped to death for stumbling onto some Hell's Angels grow-op is a pretty good start.

    when you consider how many of are already users (part-time, occasional, whatever...) it's really seems silly that we still treat it like crack. seems to me we're dealing with a failing economy and a ridiculously high unemployment rate for a "developed" country. perhaps the marijuana trade is the just the thing to create some (and by "some" I mean "thousands" of) jobs and put a little (a LOT of) tax money in our nation's collective pockets.

    it sounds like an awesome idea "dude"...damn...I must be high.

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  4. Nice dude…I'm telling ya man it's the subject matter…you don't even have to smoke any and this makes you laugh…that's how you know it's funny for real!

    Ya, I mean it really is a mystery to me why Mary Jane gets such a bad wrap. I guess alcohol had the mafia and the great depression (to name a few) fighting for it. There are positives and negatives to everything in this world and I have seen MJ crush motivation and potential in some but again that's the responsibility of the user. Alcohol is crazy worse as far as I'm concerned. Drunks beating wives and their kids, killing themselves slowly and with alcoholism, getting in car wrecks…letting the inner asshole come out in the public (I have a feeling that's me, shit)…the list goes on.

    I truly believe the reason that Grass is kept down by the man is because it gives you original thought. It let's you think outside the box…things that the powers of be just are cool with. Ahh who knows, I mean at the end of the day it's not for everyone but neither are cigarettes, alcohol oh and not mention firearms. "Ok guys…lets go camping you got the 40's…check…you got the smokes…check…got the rifles…check…you got the weed…um sorry dude the only thing that probably won't kill us and allow us to truly appreciate everything around us this weekend is illegal and I'm insulted that you would even suggest I would be into that…"

    What a world

    Good post bud.

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  5. Great comments, Uncie Bear and Lee! I 100% agree on the creativity comment and can't imagine what songs, books, movies, tv shows, etc. we'd have missed out on without marijuana.

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