Here Lies the USA Economy. RIP

In a nutshell the USA is starting to realize how utterly and hopelessly screwed they are. Unfortunately none of these wet-noodled leaders are going to do a damn thing about it. Perhaps they know the truth. They can’t.

The Republican's and the Democrats have released plans to reduce the deficit ($4.4 Trillion over 10 years and $4 Trillion over 12 years respectively). Sounds like progress right?

Not even close.

Neither actually reduces the deficit. These make-believe plans are only attempts to reduce the amount they will be going into debt each year.

These plans are like telling your alcoholic Uncle that he needs to stop drinking or he’ll die…if he was deaf… and your were wearing oven mitts…and your lips were crazy glued shut….while you drove him to the LCBO…and bought him booze.

These plans are so stubbornly useless that even with grotesquely fabricated “Inflation” and “GDP” estimates blended into the mix, they still can’t show themselves not running massive annual deficits in a decade!

Might as well buy your Uncle barrels of his favorite booze, place him in Depends undergarments and cheer on the inevitable.

Also it’s worth noting none of these “law makers” will even be in power in 10 years to account for how pathetically wrong they were. It’s a cute trick.

Oh and how much of the cutting in these plans will take place over the next 2 years when they are actually "in power”?

2.5%.

That's right. 2.5% of these plans affect the next 2 years. The other 97.5% kicks-in during the last 8-10 years. That's how cute these buggers are.

Doing virtually nothing is a plan I suppose. Eventually your drunkie Uncle will die and he will no longer be drinking, so problem solved.

Obama even had the audacity (and not the Hope kind) to give a speech about what kind of America they should be. Broke I'm guessing.

And before you think raising taxes on the rich is the solution here is the truth:

Every person who made over $100,000 in 2008 ($100,000 is not rich btw) had a total combined taxable income of $1.582 Trillion (Wall Street Journal).

The Government is already getting $650B of that with current Federal and State taxes leaving the "rich" with roughly $900B of net earnings.

Now if you taxed the "rich" at 100%. That’s right. Take every dime they make and left them with nothing…the Government would still be running a deficit of $700B.

Of course the deficit will only be $700B if projections are spot on. Last year they estimated they’d go in the ditch $1.2 Trillion but ended up at $1.6 Trillion. That is a miss of $400B or 33%. Nice going fellas.

Putting aside everyone who used to make over $100,000 is now making $0 and the economy is dead. We still have to find another $700B to balance this budget!

One slight problem... the remaining citizens (all those that make under $100,000 per year) don’t have $700B left in their pockets after paying their existing taxes.

That's right. If you take 100% of EVERY citizen's income...every last dime of every American’s earnings for the entire year...you still can't balance one single year of the budget.

Now that is a colossal clusterfuck.

In 2000 the cumulative budget deficits of the USA was $4T.

By 2008 it climbed another $4T to a new total of $8T

In the last 3 years it has grown another $6T to a total of $14T.

Americans are now amassing more debt in 3 years then they did in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s…combined!

Not bad enough for you?

The low interest rates of the past 10 years, coupled with American’s ability to write off mortgage payments against their income, has incentivized it’s citizenry to borrow against any equity they once had... and spend it.

That’s right. Private debt doubled in the last 10 years as people borrowed and spent their future.

Hard to let a temporarily low interest rate suck you into squandering your future but those plucky Yanks sure did.

To add insult to injury all that spending didn’t help the economy all that much in America. That’s because they don’t manufacture anything. Ask the now 14,000,000 millionaires in China how well all that American spending worked out.

Ok now your Uncle has no food in the cupboards and is strictly living on booze could it be any worse?

Oh yes it can.

We are all familiar with the looming worry over aging Baby Boomers and the $50+ Trillon Entitlement Programs (Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security). What is less known is how fortunate the USA has been for decades.

You see in the Dirty 30’s there was a depression going on and in the early 40’s a World War. Baby production was in a lull for 15 years and it is those “Lull Babies” who have been utilizing Entitlement Programs for the last 15 years.

Amazingly the Government has been going bust taking care of the “Lull Babies” with the aid of the massive Boomer Demo in the workforce and paying the bills.

Over the next 5 years those Boomers are going to push off of payrolls and onto the Dole and then instead of a “lull” at the public trough…you’ll have Ka-“Boom”.

All bets are off after that.

The invincibility cloak of America will finally fall and lay bare for all the world to see…that in the end the greatest economy that ever was...got gutted.

And all anybody could do...was watch.

Bars, Sex and Facebook

Facebook has become competition for the bar.

Prior to fb the bar was THE place for sexual interactions. Nothing else came close. All you needed was a wingman or two, a decent outfit and a bar that your type attended. As an added bonus the booze gave you liquid courage and forgiving “eyewear”.

Time and money also helped because not every night will “Mr. or Miss Right” be out, so there was a statistical advantage in going out often and making a scene. You can’t score if you aren’t shooting.

Facebook has lessened the necessity of the “Bar Star” approach. It’s become “Coles Notes” for the bar. Rather than sporadically scrutinizing an object of affection amongst ever present competition you can now follow up while couch surfing and eating Doritos with the innocuous “Friend Request”.

So once the friend request is accepted, what’s first?

Photos. Most people go right for bathing suit pictures and I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain why. “Cancun 2011” it is then.

After that mild invasion, the “picture creep” may continue. Of course it can also end as quickly as a blind date. People know what they like and these pics are the “first impression”.

A good rule of thumb with pictures is “Don’t bore the shit out of people”.

Photo albums max at 200 pics. Please don’t “max-out”. People are not interested in 15 pictures of the same piece of blurry coral or a wonky sunset! Do some editing for the audience. I wouldn’t go through 200 pictures from the Japan Tsunami so an all-inclusive vacay doesn’t need to be documented better than an epic disaster. Tighten it up.

Curtail the number of albums. Here girls are generally the culprits as they treat every night as an “Event”. Multiple pictures of the “hand on the hip” group shots in every album is overkill. Pick the best and shelve the rest. We aren’t documenting human history. You know those amazing nature programs that catch animals in astonishing action? Well those are the result of 100’s of hours of effort for a 10 second segment. They know “Money Shots” are what the people want...and so should we.

For guys it is “Profile Pictures” with reams of their favorite sports logos and their view of “the game” from the nosebleeds. We can watch the game in HD so one pic is enough to let everyone know you got out of the house. And six Maple Leaf logos is too much. Even if you are in the NHL and play for the Leafs, it is too much. We get it. You really really really like a particular hockey team, or soccer team, or Nascar driver. Throw it under your likes and let’s consider it covered. Oh and fellas…. 1 or 2 pics of your whip suffices, this isn’t autotrader.

Feel Free to untag. If someone else is committing the major sin of boring us on your behalf do not lose a wink of sleep over untagging the 8 shots in a row of you making a “funny” face or eating dinner at that badly lit restaurant where you’re at the end of the table and are getting mercy tagged to death.

Now if the creeping has moved to “info” then they like what they’ve seen so now let’s reward them with something illuminating… “who” you are.

Take some time and give a fair cross-section of your likes.

We used to ask “what music do you like” but unless searching for a jazz aficionado this is usually pointless as most people like “all kinds of music”. So don’t waste a lot of time here. Around five artists should cover it, you are not making a mixed CD. Now a “Dislike” would be a nice touch (are you listening fb?!), one click on “Dislike Country” and bye bye Daisy Duke.

Movies are the new “Book”. Your favorite movies give a strong indication of where you live and breathe and what moves you as a person. Ladies, we get that Notebook will probably be in there and Fellas… Scarface but put in a little more effort here. 10 movies should be your goal just so we can by-pass the ubiquitous.

There is no use “pretending” who you are. Let your freak flag fly if that’s what floats your boat. If one person loves Adam Sandler flics and anything with the word “Saw”, while the other likes “Casablanca” and “Annie Hall” then lets save everybody some time. Even though they looked hot in Cancun…this is one night stand territory.

Finally we move to the wall. Here can be seen not only who they interact with (pics gave us that already) but as importantly is the “way” they interact. Are you a chivalrous Momma’s boy? Then take note if her and her friends casually refer to each other as “whores” and “sluts” and save some Xmas Dinner unpleasantness.

Are they putting up reams of boring YouTube music videos? They are either too fond of run-of-the-mill videography or attention starved with nothing interesting to say. Oh and if those are love sick songs…check back again in 6 months.

What are their statuses like?

If they are a constant complainer then you’ll be joining the ice hut brigade on Kempenfelt Bay every year to get away from the harping.

If they are ecstatic one day, then a “FML’er” the next because of a missed appointment, then you’ve got yourself a manic and you better love rollercoasters and talking to yourself (because “they have their own damn problems or haven’t you been listening!”)

If they only update when they have something to brag about then their “look at me” is going to need a lot of “Yep look at you! You are incredible…*insecure mind you*…but incredible!” from you.

Facebook has gone far beyond a fancy way of catching up with family and friends. It is giving people an actual sense of community and belonging. It quenches that anxious human thirst of “Am I missing anything?” And most amazingly, it is creating bonds without uttering a single word.

Facebook has become dating. Perhaps even better, it is a 3D resume for paramours that they can request and review at their leisure. So look sharp!